A storms a brewin!

Greeeeeen things are popping up in and around my yard...SO excited!

Confession to make- I feel super cranky! Ok, just had to get that out there. Maybe its just time to get away from all the extra noise. Noisy tv, dryer, NEIGHBORS...ugh. I am looking forward to finding some respite and solitude, just not sure when or where but I sure do need it.

Besides the sudden surge of irritability, its been a pretty pleasant weekend. Got rid of my old desk and bookshelf on thursday evening. I'm trying to de-clutter our tiny house and move some pieces of furniture around to get it all fung she-y. Also trying to make room for a small china hutch, which I have been on the prowl for. So yes, went to an estate sale and an antique shop yesterday but I didn't fall in love with anything I'd spend $50 over so yeeeaaaah...still looking. Also went to zumba toning and just about died. it was awesome. followed by a swim in my new swimsuit! BTW, if your looking for a good suit, for actual swimming, not just lying by the pool and tanning, Academy has some pretty good ones. I got a nike two piece with very specific requirements (not a tied one, shorts, long top) and I LOVE it. And yes, I do look very cute in it. I felt very justified after so much exercise in the brownie and coconut ice cream enjoyed later :)

Other news, one of my new years resolutions was to cook more budget-friendly meals at home that weren't super complicated and didn't take a million years and a whole bunch of dishes. I think I may have found the golden key (or something mystical and magical like that). My sister-in-law Shelley (who is awesome, and wonderful, and I love her to death) introduced me to e-mealz. Its this website that you can sign up for and every week it will give you five meals, directions, and a shopping list. It will also tell you how much everything costs on the shopping list!! Its really cool, and a weeks worth of groceries usually cost about $30-$40. Also awesome, you can PICK what kind of list you want, and there are tons to choose from! You could do 2 people to 4 people, go by store (me and Greg do the Wal Mart one since we shop there most), or by dietary needs- low carb, low fat, gluten free, weight watchers, etc. It. Is. Awesome! I went with the wal mart meals for 2 people b/c it suited me and Greg best, and so far everything I made from the list is delicious and, I am fairly certain Greg could handle all on his own. I didn't get a special dietary one- though there were many too choose from, b/c Greg might be sad, but I did look at some of the sample ones and those looked really good too. Some of the meals on the 2 ppl/wal mart list aren't exactly the healthiest choices, which is probably why they taste pretty good, but most are just balanced regular meals. Another great thing about them is the portion sizes are about perfect for two people who are not very good about eating leftovers- though I haven't really made any of the sides, which are usually veggies are bread. Last week I tried out the tator tot casserole (I know, sometimes we eat like little kids) and it was delicious! Also on the list is mexican meatloaf, broccoli and cheese soup, and monte cristos. Very excited about this, and hoping that our food expenditures reflect it.

Really looking forward to my day off tomorrow, even though I will likely be grading papers and making revisions on my thesis. And tuesday....hot stone massage. Oh yes, be jealous ;)

Surely knowledge and weight are positively coorelated

The original purpose of this blog was to write about my journey to weight loss and new health. However, as sometimes happens in life things evolve once the ball gets rolling, and I've noticed that over the last few months losing those grad school pounds has become less important as other things have taken precedent. I do still stand by my former statement, that a positive relationship surely exists between smarties and flabbies (at least in my case!) Ever had a day when you just felt awkward? Ok, granted I probably have more of those days than the average duck, but man today I either felt brushed off or like I was getting on somebody's nerves. I must have flipped my stupid switch on. It was a weird day, not exactly crawl in a hole and die day, just feel weird and uber conscience day. At one point I jokingly thought to myself (after I confirmed that yes, the stupid switch had been flipped to the "on" position), that heck they shouldn't have been so quick to award me any social work student of the year or congratulate me for blah blah blah...lol anyways, not to appear ungrateful but I do tend to have nagging doubts about myself, and sometimes my abilities- especially when I'm put into a spotlight and then do something stupid. So, grace from all would be good, and since I am constantly begging for it I may as well mention the importance of giving it. At the end of a long, awkward day, the thing I want most from people is grace. Grace for my slow reaction at the check out counter, grace for my inability to get dinner prepared before 9 p.m. EVER and to do other general housekeeping things, like laundry. Grace for my lack of motivation and sloth-like participation in group work and grace for myself- afterall, no one's perfect. What I am trying to say, to myself and others, is that this is a very stressful time of year, probably for a lot of people, so be forgiving and ease up a little (on others and yourself!) I know I put too much pressure on myself and am disappointed when I fall short of my own expectations- and this is just not in school, but work and at home. I have this idealization of the perfect woman- educated, profession, good with people, fun, house spotless, works out everyday and never eats fastfood. And I'd really like to be all those things all the time- I seriously lack the ability to tell people no! And it is just exhausting. My prayer tonight is to give myself a little more grace. I definitely want to be cognizant of being graceful to others as well, but as an awkward day comes to a close, I think the most important relationship I can give grace to is the one with myself.